Divorce Toolkit

  1. Consult with an attorney prior to initiating the divorce process or mediation. Mediators do not protect either party’s best interest. Your attorney will. The role of the mediator is to assist the parties in reaching an agreement, not to give either party legal advice.
  2. Know all your assets and debts and obtain documentation as to their balances at the date of your separation.
  3. Be cautious of any text messages, emails, or social media postings because those could be introduced as evidence by the other party.
  4. Keep a journal so you can remember significant events and when they occurred.
  5. Keep track of and keep proof of any payments made after you separate for any debts acquired during marriage regardless of whose name the debt is in.
  6. DO NOT INVOLVE THE CHILDREN in any discussion regarding the divorce or custody issues. Allow them to be children. You may have age appropriate discussions about the separation but do not involve them in any discussions about the parenting plan or the court proceedings. Do not say anything negative about the other parent in the presence of your child.
  7. If possible, try to have enough money to support yourself for three months as it takes time to get to a hearing on the issue of support in court or to get to that point in mediation.
  8. Figure out where you are going to live and what your monthly financial needs will be.
  9. If custody is litigated and you are scheduled to attend Family Court Service (FCS) mediation, it is important to retain a profession to help you prepare prior to your appointment. It is true you cannot unring a bell.
  10. Do not sign any documents without consulting an attorney.
  11. Remain civil with your spouse.
  12. Most importantly, do not forget about you and take care of yourself.

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