Vista Family Law Blog

Marriages end for a variety of reasons for couples in California and across the United States. While the term "divorce" often conjures up images of anger, pain and hatred as well as lengthy struggles in the courtroom, this is not the only way to bring a marriage to an end. Divorce litigation can be costly on both a financial and emotional level. Divorcing couples can lose up to a third of their total net worth due to the fees and costs that come with a contested courtroom divorce. A courtroom environment can emphasize the adversarial nature of divorce proceedings and augment an already-fragile emotional situation.

This can be particularly concerning for divorcing couples that need to co-parent after the divorce as well as former spouses that want to preserve an amicable relationship. Divorce mediation is one option that can help both parties in a divorce achieve their goals and leave the marriage with a positive outcome. Divorce mediators focus on supporting constructive communication and avoiding inflammatory or disparaging remarks. Building an environment of respectful communication helps to manage the resolution of financial concerns and property division and also can play a major role in supporting positive custody agreements and ongoing co-parenting relationships.

California parents of minor children must develop a custody or visitation arrangement as part of a divorce. Long-term thinking is essential when negotiating this agreement. Careful consideration of each parent's work schedule and the children's school and extracurricular activities could help a person avoid agreeing to a schedule that proves unworkable and results in going back to court to make adjustments.

The needs and best interests of the child should guide the parents' choices. Courts want to see co-parenting proposals that present schedules that all parties can realistically live with. Although parents are often not on good terms when building these plans, reasonable compromises could benefit both parents because everyone will be living according to the terms of the plan for many years.

Conflicts between family members are a normal part of life, and there may be many ways to resolve them. One option that California residents may wish to pursue to resolve a family conflict is mediation. A key benefit to mediation is that it is a voluntary process that strives toward a win-win result for all involved. All parties talk with a mediator openly and without feeling judged.

In a divorce situation, this may help to achieve a result that both spouses may feel comfortable with. When a person engages in mediation, the goal is not to win or lose an argument. Instead, the goal is to simply hear the other side out and come up with ways to help each side move past their negative feelings. Through the mediation process, spouses may learn how to treat each other with kindness, and they may discover the importance of trust and loyalty.

Mediation can be an effective tool for California couples who are facing the end of their marriage. However, there are some steps that people should take before starting the mediation process to increase its effectiveness. For instance, people may wish to prepare for a variety of outcomes as opposed to aiming for a specific conclusion.

Ideally, a person will consider both his or her needs as well as the needs of the other party. In some cases, the needs of both parties will align closely, which may make a favorable outcome easier to achieve. Those who are going through mediation should take stock of their emotions before negotiations begin. It is not uncommon for individuals to experience an emotional outburst because they are free to talk for the first time in months or years.